Did I get you on the title? Too bad, because if I could answer that question I would be single! (And I am not, or at least as long as Cameron doesn’t read this.)
Of course I don’t know why I’m not engaged! Aren’t those things supposed to be a “surprise” anyways? Whatever happened to the majority of the population supposedly hating surprises?! Well I thought I liked them…
So anyways, seriously you can stop being shocked about this post now, I’m going there– if you really know me, when have I ever been able to keep my mouth shut when I needed to? Never.
The point is not about whether I am or am not ever getting engaged, it’s about the fact that Facebook and Google apparently think I should be, or at least they sure like to rub it in my face all the time. So this whole, “your ads are catered to where you are and what you like” thing is getting old, and fast. Is it really necessary, Facebook, to put engagement rings on ALL (yes, seriously from top to bottom) my sidebar ads?? Okay so six months ago it was kind of neat….six months later and still every day…I would rather have ads for toilet paper at this point.
This post is not bitter, I did not go to college and graduate to get an Mrs. degree, and no matter what you think (even after reading this) I am no girl that’s gonna go psycho and give some kind of ultimatum. That’s not what I’m trying to say at all. All I’m saying is that I could probably sue Facebook for causing emotional strain for making me feel like I have to be engaged right now, and that’s just the beginning.
As women, especially the Southern types, we get pushed and shoved in all kinds of directions and it can’t be healthy. We’re supposed to make straight A’s and take shots at the bar without flinching and ace the LSAT the next day, be brilliant and become millionaires and world travelers, speak other languages, get boob jobs and plastic surgery yet still workout every day just to claim you didn’t, and on top of all of that, find a future millionaire under 30 who’s starting up his own company to give you a 4-carat diamond ring.
That’s exhausting to just think about, and let’s be real- when did this become the standard?
Well I’m making my own declaration to say screw the TFM mentality- it’s all just a bunch of puffery and some tools who will probably be divorced (if they even get married in the next 10 years) by the time they’re 30. Hey, I know the Lilly-wearing families with mansions and yachts are out there- but that lifestyle isn’t made for everyone, so stop trying to make it that way. I feel like my only options these days are Real Housewives of New York or 16 and Pregnant. Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me. If that’s what you want, it’s your life, but maybe I just want to be a small-town girl, with a comfortable household income and a kid that’s cute (this is a futuristic outlook in case you were wondering). Is it such a crime to want to be “average?”
So really, why are we all killing ourselves to be something everyone else thinks we should be? When is the last time you separated yourself from these silly little TV and Greek worlds we live in and asked yourself, “What do I really want out of my life?”
So here’s my declaration- I want a modest house (that I will probably have to spend sweat and time fixing up), someone who loves me, food to cook and serve to the people who love me, money to use to spend time with the people who love me- not just buying them things to show them I care- but actually doing things together, strong beliefs in something greater than myself, a government that doesn’t stink (oh wait, that blog was for later), a cat and dog, and a job. (Those last three seem silly but they’re kinda important to me.)
No- I never said anything about a luxury car, 80-inch flat screen TV, yearly trips to Europe, designer clothes (J Crew doesn’t count), or season passes for the best seats at Gator games for the rest of my life.
When I was growing up, the things I remember are not THINGS. My memories consist of people and experiences. It’s time to wake up and get over this (outdated and overrated) opinion of “success” and materialism and go back to being happy with what you’ve got (I can guarantee it’s a hell of a lot more than some other people).
So, take it for what it’s worth. I’m just a small-town girl, with more than I possibly need, a love for life and the little things and a great family. So if that’s not your cup-a-tea, well then why the heck are you listening to me in the first place?!
All I’m saying is, maybe you should take a step back and ask yourself what you want- make your own declaration and stop feeding off what everyone else has to say.
It’s like the last stanza of my best friend’s favorite poem-
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. –The Road Not Taken- Robert Frost.
So in conclusion- when it happens it happens. If life is measured by everyone else, then why would I be living my own life? I guess despite my annoyance, Facebook will still recommend huge diamond rings that I should be looking at for my engagement, but really- as my family has always told me- it’ll happen when it happens, and everything happens for a reason. Ring now or ring later– I’m still just a small-town girl either way, trying to take the road less traveled.